It seems as if every woman I talk to has some sort of disconnect surrounding food. Heck, even some of my male friends seem to be affected as well. Whether thin or curvy, older or younger, food seems to have an interesting hold on many of our hearts. Also let me remind you that I write each and every one of these articles for myself and my own healing. I write what I’m learning about, right along side you. We’re in this together, this dance through life. We’re all teachers and students, often at the same time.
So, back to food…. Food is always there for us. It’s always comforting. And ALWAYS delicious! Yet this is only true when we eat the amounts our bodies want, when our bodies want it. Overeating seems like a good idea in the moment, but that’s only in the moment. In the long run it’s more like a bad boyfriend. It promises the world, only to let you down in the end. You give up everything for him… your time, your thoughts, your body, your health only to be slapped and abused by low self-image, tight clothes, debt, spiritual starvation and a slew of weight-related health issues. So is food REALLY love? Can food ever fill our spirits, or give us a full, loving, satisfying life? I think not. But how in the world can we remember this when food seems to have such a strong pull?
I believe that we can use any challenge, struggle, or addiction as a pathway to spiritual freedom. I’m using my own struggles with food as a way to powerfully connect me to God. When I can shift my focus onto my feeling of connection, and off of food, I gain something more filling than words can describe, and less pounds on the hips in return. Finding that very personal connection to God comes in different forms, down different paths. That’s for you to explore on your own.
But solely in terms of food, since it’s a hard vice to avoid altogether, here are 10 tips that might be just the reminder to snap you back into reality and help you once and for all break up with that no-good lover, overeating. If you’re ready to break up, try on one or more of the following, and hopefully try on a smaller dress size as well:
1. Eat when you’re hungry.
The body was built perfectly to desire food when it needs it, and only then. Following your internal, natural cues is the simplest way to honor yourself , your life and your family.
2. Eat whatever your body is calling for.
Allow yourself to eat what you’re desiring. Deprivation only leads to binges. As Geneen Roth so wisely says “For every diet there is an equal and opposite binge”. It’s one of the biggest laws of the universe. Your body is wise beyond measure – if you can learn to listen to it, it will know exactly what nutrients it needs. It may take you time to differentiate between head and body hunger: one comes from all the years of deprivation, the other is softer, wiser and comes from a vast internal knowing that always directs you perfectly to balance and health. Whether it’s pizza or pineapple, kale or cookies, let the wise inner voice do the choosing, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!
3. Make eating a sacred occasion.
I light a candle before my meals. I eat at the table, sometimes enjoying some relaxing music. Honor yourself and your body with a lovely environment. Creating a ritual to begin your meals, such as lighting a candle, can separate and distinguish your meals from the rest of your day, and establish a quiet sacredness to the act of eating. You deserve that!
4. Eat in silence or to soothing music.
How many of you eat in front of the TV? Or eat in frenetic, stressful home environments? Or at busy office desks? Give yourselves the gift of a pleasant, focused environment. I know for myself, this was one of the TOUGHEST ones to embrace. I was terrified to be alone with my thoughts and to be faced with the obvious disconnect I felt around food. But there’s no time like the present to undo this habit, face your fears and do it anyway. Once you shine a light on your dark thoughts around food and meet them with love and understanding, they vanish in a puff of smoke. Be gentle with yourself… It’s time to take a bite out of this fear of silence, and instead take a bite out of some delicious food!
5. Get the best quality available when you can.
Depending on your financial and environmental circumstances, start looking for the best quality food available to you. Last night I learned this lesson again for myself. I wanted vegetable stir-fry, but the only vegetables available were rubbery, waxy and lighter in color than normal. I could have taken the time to run in to a store around the street from my home, but I didn’t. Cutting up the vegetables, I could tell they were lifeless. And once cooked, they tasted about as good as they looked. Ug. Then, to top it off, I also treated myself by buying a container of green tea ice cream. But I didn’t get the brand I really wanted… something that looked decadent and rich and more expensive. I went with the simpler brand. At the end of my meal, I took a spoonful of ice cream and almost did a spit-take across the dining room table.
Before, I would have eaten it, regardless of how badly it tasted, and my desire to save money ended up costing me a pint of green tea ice cream sitting upside down in my trashcan. But now I’m enjoying buying less, but buying better quality foods. I enjoy good dark chocolate. I enjoy gourmet cheeses. I enjoy fresh-baked breads. I enjoy locally grown foods. They say we are what we eat, and I find this to be true. Does it feel good eating meats that come from sad and unhealthy animals who spend tortured lives in small cages? Can we tell the difference between canned vegetables vs. a beautiful green bouquet of fresh collard greens? It’s not to say that we should spend more than we have. But within our limits, what’s the best, most delicious choice we can make?
6. Chew.
Remember, your stomach can’t taste anything — only your tongue has taste buds. So why not savor the flavor of what you’re eating? Let the food melt and fill your entire mouth. When you’re eating what your body’s calling for, and eating when you’re hungry, everything will taste so much better. And there’s a side benefit to chewing. When you chew your food, it mixes with the saliva in your mouth, helping your stomach to better break down the contents of your meal. If you chew, and chew well, you’ll get tons more energy from the food itself, pull out lots of vital vitamins and minerals, experience less digestive troubles and eat much less. When you take the time to slow down and chew, your body gets the time it needs to begin the digestive process and give your body the signal that it’s filling up. This process takes about 20 minutes. So if your tendency is to overeat, slowing down gives you the time to listen to your own internal fullness signal. It also helps stretch out a delicious meal so you’ve got more time to savor the flavors!
7. Have Gratitude.
If we have issues surrounding food and eating, it stems from our disconnect from God and a deep self-hatred. Turning our attentions toward our connection to the Universe and all that’s magical sets a very different tone than our normal focus on food. Experiencing gratitude throughout our lives, especially with food, is an amazing experience. It helps us to enjoy the food, but not worship it. This fixation and worship of food in the past has gotten us nothing but pain. But if we can shit our fixation and worship to something much greater, we’ll feel full in a way that we may have never known. And then food can take it’s place in our life… simply as something to be enjoyed and fuel our bodies, but nothing more. Some of us have given our power over to food. But at your next meal, how about approaching the plate with humble gratitude? How amazing a gift to have such great food, a roof over our heads, and air to breath. The basics of life, and we’ve go ‘em! Appreciating and honoring the simple things in our lives can expand our hearts, allowing more and more magic to flood in. Now THAT’S yummy!
8. Have fun!
Watch a child eat. Just watch them! They touch, rub, smush, mash, swirl and twirl their food. When’s the last time YOU did this? When’s the last time you lost all etiquette and juggled grapes or made smiley faces in your mashed potatoes? How did eating get so serious for us adults? Couldn’t this world, in all areas, use a little lightening up? Imagine what the world might be like if George Bush played “airplane” with his green beans… and just imagine how things would be if all our world leaders built tee pees with their pancakes… Today, promise me that you will be silly. Downright childish. Life’s too short to take something like food so seriously!
9. Share with a friend.
Throughout the centuries, food has been a focal point when coming together with one’s we love. Celebrate your relationships by sharing a meal. People in our lives are precious. And food is precious. So bring two yummy things together and cherish all life’s abundance with a good friend and a good meal.
10. Stop when you’re full.
Yes, that’s right… STOP. And that’s the tough part, which is why I saved it for last. I’ve spent a lifetime on this piece of the puzzle, and it can be a challenge for sure. But there’s nothing more satisfying (no pun intended) than to walk away from a meal feeling comfortably full and energized. Honor your body and all it’s done for you by not stuffing it to the gills. Never you fear – you’ll be hungry again in no time, and you can enjoy another meal of whatever foods you desire. Fill yourself up with love, passion and a deepening spiritual life.
And if you find that all the above suggestions fall flat for you, or seem to be insurmountable obstacles, try looking into The Work of Byron Katie (www.thework.org) which can help you deal with the beliefs that come up that are getting in the way of your success. Once these blocks in your belief system are moved aside, you can more easily move forward and make positive shifts in your life.
We’ll continue this topic of food and body image over the coming months. Any suggestions, questions, or requests surrounding this topic, please post them here and we will cover them in future “My Cup of Chi” postings.
Here’s to your heart’s true nourishment!
Stephanie
