Hey there, Hot-Stuff!
So — this is a VERY weird (and moderately silly) note I’m sharing today.
(And one that might slightly gross out a few of you. But I’ll share anyway — as I think you’re find it amusing AND helpful. . .)
But here goes:
Awhile ago I was having weird, random, shooting pains — in just one of my big toes. (And mostly at night).
The pain got so bad, that just touching my toe to the sheets of my bed was outrageously uncomfortable, waking me up repeatedly.
And all I kept thinking was: “W-T-F?”
I wondered if it was an ingrown toenail. But every time I inspected my poor lil’ piggy — there were 0 signs. Hm….
So I finally removed my blue glitter nail polish from my oh-so-sad toe (PS: glitter nail polish is the key to all of life’s happiness… just in case you hadn’t gotten the memo) — only to find a LARGE dark “bruised” area, with odd, scary splotches of black and red — smack in the middle of the toenail…
[Oh joy.]
And that’s when my mind went HAYWIRE.
I went to google to search for my symptoms. And of course, just as I suspected:
I WOULD HAVE TO HAVE MY BIG TOE REMOVED.
(FYI: it’s usually a TERRIBLE idea to let an overly-dramatic redhead with a temporary case of hypochondria do her own medical research. And let’s face it: We’ve all been there, haven’t we?)
Yes, I was pretty sure that I had some rare sort of melanoma under the nail bed.
And that’s when I literally broke down sobbing — as I watched YouTube videos of people having their toenails — and toes! — CUT OFF.(Barf.)
If I was lucky, the next possibility on my googled-options-list was a pesky sort of nail fungus — one that might take me up to 2 years to heal (if I was lucky). Eeeewwwwwww…..
So I bought a fancy, all-natural “Toe-Fungus Killin’ Kit“. And I was methodical and religious about my applications. (Poor little toesy!)
Until…
One day I started trimming the nail…When, horror-of-all-horrors:
The entire NAIL started to come off!
And as I clipped, and clipped, until I could clip no more: I was left with a Mutant-Nail — about ⅛ of the previous size.
(Don’t worry – it didn’t hurt.)
But, nonetheless: I was HORRIFIED!!!!!!!
And to top it off: Google-Self-Study said that I likely would never regrow my nail (if I even got to keep my toe… )
And finally (STUBBORNLY!) — I called on the aid of a real-life foot doctor.
When I arrived at her office, and sat down in the chair — the doctor immediately looked at my toe, then looked at me, and said:
“Your shoes are too small.”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” I replied, contorting my mug into what I’m sure was quite an ugly-scrunchy face.
“Yes — you have what some people call “Runner’s Toe”. I’m assuming you must walk or run a lot? It happens from repeated trauma to the toenail — when it hits the end of your shoe. It’s quite common…”
“But… Um… Are you sure it’s not a melanoma? And google said the same symptoms can come from fungus, too — Are you SURE it’s not fungus?”
She looked at me — HIGHLY annoyed with my questioning nature.
“Yes, I’m quite positive. You just need to go buy new sneakers…”
And on the drive home — the POWERFUL lessons held in this one (rather amusing) experience REALLY HIT ME.
Not only had I jumped the gun, and imagined the worst… (and from that fearful place: took actions that ended up being a waste of time…)
But MOST importantly:
(drumroll…)
I had become OBLIVIOUS to a (seemingly-benign) irritation.
Without any awareness, I had become extremely COMFORTABLE …with a DISCOMFORT.
I would often walk for 1-2+ hours a DAY — and never once noticed that my shoes didn’t actually fit.
And it struck me at how relevant that is to SO many other areas of our lives.
Because having worked with so many women over the years, I know this to be true:
Over time we all can slowly numb out to how much pain we are actually in.
It’s easy to get “comfortable” with: Status-quo, poor treatment, lousy inner self-talk, feeling all alone, scarcity-consciousness, believing we’re not good enough, social anxiety, hating our bodies, shrinking around certain people, chronic resentment, or low-grade depression….
(And the list goes on and on and on…)
Boy, spotting these stuck spots and habitual bummers can be tough though, let me tell ya.
(The mind is STEALTH at keeping you far, far away from that ol’ subconscious basement door.)
I’ve been blessed to work with some of the smartest women imaginable — and I can tell you first hand that even the best of us all can be pretty darn checked-out to what’s REALLY going on within ourselves, or our lives. (At least sometimes.)
That’s normal. Natural. And part of the human brain’s “Play it Safe” operating system.
But it still BLOWS, nonetheless. Because it ruins the purpose-filled, gloriously-decadent moments that make life… come ALIVE!
So before one of your life’s symbolic “Toenails” goes ROGUE — like you get sick, get fired, lose a relationship, miss out on an opportunity, or tank your finances — take an inventory of what you may have numbed out to in your own life.
And one of my favorite ways to do this is by pretending you’re someone ELSE.
I like to close my eyes — and pretend that someone like Oprah Winfrey, a loving mentor, or anyone else I highly respect — has stepped into my body, and is now running the ship.
I look through THEIR eyes – as they scan around every area of my life and inner emotions…
And then I witness their response.
It’s always eye-opening:
— Would Oprah tolerate your messy bedroom?
— Would Tony Robbins think that your spending was smart?
— Would Louise Hay enjoy how you talk to yourself and your body?
— Would Steve Jobs think your time management skills were the wisest?
— Would Martin Luther King Jr condone with your current level of courage?
— Would Mother Mary agree that you’re in the healthiest of relationships?
Scan all areas of your life: Career, finance, health, diet, body image, self love, creativity, romance, relationships, home, happiness and more:
- What helpful advice would this person give you?
- What things would they not tolerate?
- What would they want for you?
- What do you actually deserve more of?
- What dreams have you put on the back burner?
Their perspectives can help to shine a light on where you may have: given up; zoned out; or just turned an ongoing annoyance into droned-out white noise.
Whatever you discover – whether through this visualization exercise, or through your own insights, journaling and ponder-fests — take at least 1 action to shake things up TODAY!
(Or else more than a big toenail may fly the coop of your life at some point…)
And don’t sweat it if you’re in the midst of a “toenail” moment: They are always gifts. Wake up calls. Opportunities to grab your own attention.
They can be loving, life-changing choreographed moments — designed to swoop in and shake you awake — to whatever you’ve been putting up with, putting off, allowing too much of, or ignoring altogether.
Either way: it’s an AMAZING opportunity for change, growth and healing.
So what about YOU? I’d love to hear your thoughts… feel free to reply to this email and share away!
Huge love to you, Oh Unstoppable One —
PS: On a more superficial note:
…The doctor was right: I was 1 size too small.
(And also wearing what my athletic friends call: “Shit Shoes” – who knew?)
I ended up going to my local Runner’s Forum (a store catering to walkers and runners of all kinds) — where they study your stance, foot size, gait, and run… all for free. (You MUST try this in your local area)…
And for just a smidge more moolah than my former “Shit Shoes”, I now am wearing kicks perfectly-fitted to my foot…
(No more Rogue-Nails for this Redhead.)
And… my big toenail grew back just fine… thanks fer nuttin’, Mr. Google! : )
