So, it only took EIGHT FREAKIN YEARS to happen:
I had a magical moment last night with my sweet (rather feral) kitty, Chia (short for: C’hi = life force; and Chia-Pet = for obvious campy reasons).. .
So… she decided to sit on the back of my chair — while I did my evening journaling. (This has NEVER happened before, FYI!!!!!!) And at one point, she let me press my cheek against hers… something that would normally send her into massive feline PTSD. We just sat there for about 10 minutes… nuzzled cheek-to-cheek… feeling her purrs vibrating through me… and the rhythm of my breath barely rocking her gray lil’ body…
And I SWEAR I could feel 8 entire years of pent-up LOOOOOOOOOOVE oozing out of that cat — and right into my FACE! It was sheer and utter heaven…
And she reminded me of MY journey… Even though I can be terrified to be vulnerable with others, and to open my heart up wide… for fear of abandonment, or rejection, or danger… when I finally get brave enough to take that leap: There tends to be loving cheeks waiting there for me… dispelling decades of pain, mending the heart, and opening me up to trusting myself, and others, and love… more and more and more.
Sure, sometimes things don’t always pan out as planned. My heart gets bruised. Broken. Bashed up now and then. But it always strengthens me, too. Heals me. Makes me braver for the next round… And MOST of all, it helps me fall in love with myself = the REAL love I’ve always been looking for…
So in the scheme of things (and compared to most of us humans): 8 years ain’t so shabby, Chia!!! Bravo for your beautiful brave leap of faith. I’m taking notes, and will attempt to step up my own game right along with you, pretty-kitty….
CRAZY KITTY UPDATE: Per my post just a day or two ago, my scared-of-her-own-shadow, moderately-feral kitty sat on the back of my chair for the first time EVER… and let me sneak some snuggling!
Well, the miracles are never ending: Once she FINALLY broke through her terror-barrier — and realized that getting love did NOT actually kill her… now I CAN’T GET HER OFF THE BACK OF MY CHAIR!!!!!!!!! But it gets better = Last night she actually *SAT ON MY LAP* for over an hour: Holy Feline-Freakiness, Cat-Girl… THERE IS A GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She just took 2 quantum leaps in less than 1 week. May I transform and evolve as fast as my lil’ Chia-Pet!
(Sorry this lousy pic makes her look mildly horrified, and rather disheveled…)
