It’s time for me to move. I’ve felt it coming on for a long time now. Mildly over the past three years or so, and more loudly over this past year. I resisted it, fought the idea, stressed out, laid awake through sleepless nights, avoiding the uncomfortable realization that my own home was booting me out the door.
How did I know this? Well…for a few reasons.
1. I can feel an internal shift happening.
An inner pull, trying to push my life into a new and wonderful direction. But no matter how much I’ve felt the push, and how much I’ve tried to implement changes, I’ve had that ol’ familiar hamster-wheel feeling — that I’m stuck in a loop and simply can’t get off.
2. I’ve pulled out all my old bag-o-tricks.
I’ve feng shui’d the heck out of things. Moved furniture, redesigned, repainted, repaired and furnished. Usually, this works wonders. My entire life (and career) are the direct reflection of the magical effect of changing one’s space for the better. But no positive affirmations, space-clearing, sorting, straightening, bells or incense was doing any good…Sometimes you just have to face facts, face what is trying to happen, and start packin’ your bags.
3. The pace of my thoughts has shifted into fast-forward.
A few years ago, I’d have mini-spurts where I’d look into real estate, ponder a new city, scour Craigslist for great apartments, or daydream about moving back to the easier pace of Indiana where I grew up. They came infrequently. Once in a blue moon. But now those thoughts are hundreds, if not thousands a day. Before my internal barometer was whispering to move — now it’s downright screaming!
4. My old vices have come back to visit.
When my life is trying to move forward, and I’m not heeding the call, my own secret ways of tuning out and numbing those voices come right back to pay a visit. I was wanting to eat more, watch movies, scour the internet and adopt kitties! If it kept me distracted from the issue at hand, I loved it!
5. The reasons for staying no longer outweighed the reason for leaving.
My home is gorgeous, it’s true. And everyone that’s seen it has fallen into fits of jealousy! : ) But beauty is simply not enough, not even with feng shui. As I tell all of you, time and time again, “Make sure your space reflects who you’re GOING to become!” And one day I looked around only to realize that this home could no longer feed me the amount of energy I’m going to need. I’m not talking beauty, or space or location. I’m talking stuck vs. flying free.
Life has a way of calling you onward. It has a wisdom and a knowing about your future and your purpose that may be out of your realm of understanding at times. So often I’ve seen people who have landed great rent-stabilized apartments, free housing or inexpensive shelter, and the fear of letting go of that safety-net kept them in an environment when, at some point, they could nolonger grow.
We’re all like pretty little plants — all growing and twisting and sprouting and bursting upward — trying our darndest to reach up and touch the sun. But when our pot gets too small for our blossoming beings, and our brightly-flowering selves begin to shrink, wither, and crinkle, the pot that once gave us life can also be the one that ends up strangling us.
While the new administration is moving into the big white house, I’ll be moving into some big white rooms! And I couldn’t be happier. With change comes freshness. With newness comes rebirth.
This move is not about status. It’s not about size. It’s about heart. And it’s about truest sense of “home”. So I’m getting out my gardening supplies, and finding myself a bigger pot. This girl’s roots are made for growing!
THIS WEEK’S HOMEWORK:
Look around at your home this week. Take a look at your job, your habits, your partner, your neighborhood. If there were no fear, and no one could be hurt by your decisions, what would you choose? Who are you longing to be? Where are you longing to go? What are you longing to do?
This doesn’t mean that you need to move, or quit your job or leave your marriage or throw out all your small-potted plants. This means to gently, inquisitively ask yourself what your heart is longing for. It might be as simple as taking more naps, ask for more hugs, eating more chocolate, sitting in the sun, leave work at 5 on Fridays, or cleaning the garage.
What are the whispers telling you in your life? What beckoning sounds do you hear? And most importantly, will you heed the call?…
