Howdy-Ho, Vision of Loveliness!
Today’s the last day of the Big Self-Love-Focused Month . . .
And as I was sitting here doing a special ritual (that I do quite frequently) — I thought:
“What better way to celebrate this lovey-dovey topic — than to share this with YOU!?”
It’s hands-down one of my favorite secrets for discovering your very own personalized “Prescription for Happiness”.
(And it’s pretty darn ridiculously EASY and FAST to do.)
In fact, I’ll even share my own private “Prescription” with you — in case you want to steal some of my ideas . . . (*wink*)
Before I show you this awesome tip — let’s get existential for a moment, shall we?
If you really think about it — not much of anything is really “REAL” in this life.
It’s all made-up stuff that your brain projects onto the outer world.
(That’s why everyone’s perspective is different — because each brain is filled with different “stuff”.)
Basically, unless you’re totally Self-Realized, Awakened or Enlightened-out-the-Wazoo — most of your entire waking life is simply your brain REGURGITATING past memories… and then running those old mental-files like a weirdo reality TV show.
(Except: You THINK it’s “real” life.)
And while that may sound daunting, it actually puts you squarely in the driver’s seat.
YOU get to create the perspectives you wish. Brain-matter is all moldable, morphable, shiftable – just like cerebral Silly-Putty!
(But of course: that’s easier said, than done.)
So why not play with your thinking-plasticity — by using it to your ADVANTAGE?! — And let your brain actually help you figure out what you really REALLY want most?
One of the best ways I know to get crystal clear on what would make my life ROCK, and my heart pitter-patter – is to take a good hard look at what I’m PROJECTING onto all the people around me.
It’s the secret key to unlocking your own inner desires, needs and longings.
So to do this, simply answer the following questions:
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List ALL the things that you do for others – to love, support and care for them.
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List ALL the things you long to receive from another person (or people in your life).
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Then, take those 2 lists, and rewrite them… putting YOU in the subject line.
(I’ll show you what I mean: sharing my own answers to this exercise below.)
And voila: Your EXACT Prescription for a Ridiculously Giddy, Fulfilling Life!
But you may be asking: “How in the world is THIS my ‘Prescription for Ultimate Happiness?’”
Because what your brain does easily for others, and longs to receive in return… is actually what YOU are longing to receive – for YOURSELF.
(You’re simply are hardwired to project these inner longings to the OUTER world, instead. Leaving you waiting endlessly… longingly… for someone ELSE to fulfill you.)
But as long as you prioritize doing these things for others — BEFORE you do them for yourself — that leaves you in a precarious position.
And sadly, that usually leaves you as the President and Poster-Child for Codependency, Inc.
That’s because you’ve been brainwashed to believe that you need only OTHERS to give you what you need – when what you’ve really been seeking your entire adult life is a deep, intimate reconnection …with your very own sweet self!
So if you want to skip the middle-man – and cut straight to the chase: Learn to understand what you TRULY long for most (via the answers to these 2 simple questions above) …
Then turn your entire life into a quest to LIVING THESE OUT.
No. Matter. What.
Cuz if you haven’t noticed: It’s damn tough to wrestle other goofy humans to the ground — and coercing them into doing your self-love bidding…
They’re fickle. Stubborn. Self-absorbed. And wrestling with this same issue, themselves.
So why give yourself that headache? — Just do it for yourself FIRST!!!
(And when gorgeously goofy humans actual DO treat you well and tickle your fancy – that’s icing on your life’s cake, as we discussed in last month’s delicious blog post: CLICK HERE TO READ)
I personally do this exercise frequently – especially if I’m upset, triggered, or feeling hurt. (And for maintenance: I do this at least every 3 months, just for kicks.)
So let me share my current “PRESCRIPTION” for Happiness with you — and perhaps some of my items will trigger ideas for your list too…
What I Easy + Willingly Do For Others – That I Now Do For Myself FIRST:
- Compliment myself often
- Stay positive about my life circumstances
- Give myself gifts
- Listen intently
- Give myself 100% attention and focus
- Check in regularly to see how I’m doing
- Ask myself if there’s anything I can do for myself
- Do my best to uplifting and cheer myself up!
- Stay close, connected and bonded
- Make me feel special — like I’m the only person in the world that matters!
- Tune in and be hypersensitive to my energy and emotions
- Be curious about all the subtle nuances of what I say and do
- Celebrate my accomplishments, milestones and special days!
- See myself as beautiful, and tell myself this frequently
- See the best in me, only focusing on my perfect Higher Soul Self!
- Give myself great ideas on how I can enhance, change or shift my life!
- Spend deep, intimate quiet time with myself
- Make sure I am touched, cuddled and massaged often
What I WISH Others Would Do For Me – That I Now Do For MYSELF:
- See into me
- Forgive me
- Understand me
- Show deep compassion
- Be gentle with myself and my emotions
- Know that I’m always doing my best
- Hug and hold myself
- Commit to being with myself
- See myself as sexually desirable
- Want to be with me — more than anyone else on the planet!
- Always talk sweetly, tenderly and lovingly to myself
- Focus on my accomplishments — and compliment me about them
- Be generous toward myself – with my time, energy and money
- See myself as the highest version of me – a perfect Soul in a human body!Tell me I’m beautiful, just as I am — no matter my age, weight or appearance
- Treat myself as if I am the most precious person alive
- Take care of myself
- Make sure I’m safe – and protect me from harm (at least harmful “thoughts”!)
- Support myself – emotionally, financially, and logistically
- Let me lean on myself, and trust that support 1000%
- Always feel (and know) that I’m there for myself…
- Put me first
- Take my side in situations
- Gush love at me, 24-7
- Treat myself like a Princess always!
- Look into my eyes and adore me wildly!
- Spend time with myself
- Make sure I have plenty of money
- Help me figure out positive solutions to my problems
Don’t worry if there’s overlap in both lists. That’s normal.
Now take 5 minutes — and write out your own list!
Then really sink into each one — closing your eyes, putting your hand on your heart, and FEELING into each and every one.
(Feel free to share some of your list in the comment box below… I’d love to hear!)
FOR GREAT RESULTS: Review, ponder and study this list — as often as you can.
- Maybe you’ll want to print it out and read it morning and night.
- Or laminate it and put it in your shower.
- Or tape it to your car dashboard.
- Or carry a copy around in your purse.
Whatever it is: the more you keep these insights in the forefront of your mind, the easier it will be to start to prioritize YOU and your happiness. First.
Sure, doing this may feel like a tall order – especially when you were raised by humans who had absolutely NO clue how to do this themselves!
But it’s worth the work.
And sure, maybe it will take you awhile to retrain yourself to ADORE YOU — But don’t sweat it: Even the smallest smidge more tenderness – makes for a sweeter and sweeter life!
Also be prepared for your ego to kick and scream over this whole topic, too — It may not like your new perspective that: “Maybe Prince Charming ain’t coming!“ (And actually never existed in the first place.)
But the sooner you wake up to what works, and what doesn’t… the happier you’ll be.
(Because this is the ONLY place where the answer truly lies: Within YOU.)
I hope this has been helpful for you, Unstoppably-Beautiful Soul…
And if you have great ideas that light up your life — I’d love to hear all about them!
Till next week…
Huge love, Gorgeousness —
