What 2 wonderfully wicked toddlers taught me about unconditional love…
Hey there, Gorgeousness!
Recently I decided to pop over for a visit with my 2 adorable nieces….
I had gone out with a friend the night before – and had blown out my hair silky-straight for the occasion. But the moment I arrived at my brother’s apartment — I knew my hair wouldn’t be straight for long.
With Alex, the 4 year old, holding a spray bottle (and a devilish grin on her face) — she asked if she could “do my hair”.
(And in the background, the 2 year old Hadley’s eyes lit up – eager to be her assistant).
“Farewell, my silky-straight locks!!!!” I thought to myself.
So I sat down on the floor, legs crossed — while Alex proceeded to hold the spray bottle up to 1 teensy localized spot on the back-right-side of my head…
And she sprayed… and sprayed… and sprayed that 1” spot…
Heck, then she sprayed it some more!
My hair quickly went from auburn — to a dark wet-black tone. And she repeatedly reminded me:
“Aunt Stephie, don’t worry… black looks GOOD!”
After about 15-20 minutes of spraying that one small spot — my back was thoroughly soaked, and I was sitting in an ever-growing puddle of water.
(Ah, what an Auntie will do for love!!!)
At one point though, Alex stopped. Ran over to my brother. And whispered in his ear.
Then she and my brother giggled deviously as they looked in my direction . . . Then she strutted back to spraying my head “black”…
(And reeling with untamed Toddler-Power.
Finally I convinced her to at least spray my WHOLE head – which Alex and Hadley were more than GIDDY to do!
Then after having my hair teased, twisted, knotted and kinked thoroughly, I asked Alex curiously:
“So, what LOOK are you going for?”
And in a serious, yet confidence tone, Alex replied:
“POOP.”
Yup. Quite an accurate description, I agreed — as I sucked in a snort.
(And if I would have peed my pants in that moment, no one would have known — since I was already sitting in a large puddle of water.)
Before heading to my car, I asked my brother what Alex had whispered earlier. And he replied, matter-of-factly:
“Daddy… Black does NOT look good!!!!!”
Yes, her wonderful wicked-side was DELIGHTED to torture her poor, wet-headed Auntie.
Yet all I could think about on that soggy, cold drive home — and for days to come — was:
Why is it so EASY to get a kick out of “kids being kids” –– but when an ADULT does something we interpreted as: controlling, less-than-kind, or self-serving . . . we get our panties in a twist?
If a hair stylist would have given your average adult THAT sort of treatment — they’d likely call the cops (or call a lawyer).
But the raw truth is: While we might be in bigger bodies than the 2 tikes playing “Torture Salon” . . . we all still operate very similarly to those 2 lil’ cuties.
(Whether we like to admit this, or not.)
We all still want control. Want power. Want attention. Want to dominate. Want to be right. Want the final word. Want to call the shots.
At least at times.
And I mention this today because whether you’re an entrepreneur or an Unstoppable Woman on a Mission — we all can get extremely sensitive to other’s reactions, behaviors, criticisms, or rejections.
There’s nothing I see ruin more women’s dreams or livelihoods — than when you worry too much about what others think.
…Or even worse: to take their wonky actions PERSONALLY!
That’s what I’ve had to learn the hard way MANY times in my life. You’re probably the same.
So why not get ahead of the next curve-ball — and with a playful lightness, start to reframe your perspective around what “other people’s behaviors” REALLY means?
What a world it would be if we could all walk around with laser-love vision: able to see right through others — into their heart, Soul, and hurts.
To understand that it’s only our wounded Inner Toddlers that act badly, say mean things, or hurt others feelings.
Always. No exceptions.
We are all only ever Victims… of Victims.
(Even though I know this may ruffle some feathers – especially those of you who’ve been severely hurt or abused by others along the way.)
I’m not saying this to condone bad behavior. But to simply see the higher-level TRUTH behind it all.
TRY IT NOW:
Close your eyes and imagine all the people whom you believe have “hurt” you in the past…
Then shift your gaze, and see them through the SAME lens you’d use to adore 2 tiny toddlers:
- Seeing them as utterly innocent.
- Trying to get their needs met the best way they knew how in the moment.
- Exploring their world, their boundaries and their sense of control.
- And stunningly beautiful at their core Soul-Selves all along the way.
So what if you joined me, and practiced seeing everyone as TODDLERS?
What if you walked through life with a smile on your face, and space in your heart — knowing everyone was SWEET and SENSITIVE and WORTHY at their core?
THIS WEEK:
- Stroll through the grocery store, the bank line, your office, your gym — imagining everyone in Adult Diapers, and sucking their thumbs . . .
(Knowing in your bones that if they KNEW better, they’d DO better.)
With a shift of perspective — people can go from bad, to good. Mean, to meaningful. Sour, to sweet.
And while I’ve been trained as much as the next guy to: judge, condemn and critique others with ease — perhaps it’s time for a new way on this planet.
A way that takes practice. Dedication. And a bit of mental elbow-grease at times, for sure.
But what if the next person who flips you the bird, cuts you off in traffic, leaves you at the altar, doesn’t take your advice, lies to your face, or steals $200 . . .
…You sit back, put on your “Toddler Glasses” – and a SMILE inside your heart!?!?!
(Because usually those who HURT others the most – are also STRUGGLING the most, deep down inside.)
But don’t do this for THEM.
Do it for YOUR sake, first. Just because it feels oh-so-good inside.
I know it’s hard. I fail at this miserably at times myself.
But it’s worth it in the end.
And this world needs a WHOLE LOT MORE compassion and heart nowadays . . . don’t you agree?
Love you, Sweet Stuff!
XOXO
PS: Sheesh: what do goofy toddlers know anyway? = Black DOES look good!
