Yesterday I am caffeinating myself for the day ahead at a local Starbucks — after having driven for 10 hours the day before from Portland to Sacramento, the city where I was born.
I walk to the bathroom before heading out to the old Gold Rush historical area, when I hear a man to my right say: “I hope you have a great day!”
I thank the stranger, who’s obviously homeless… and head to the restrooms in the back.
On my way back out, the man asked: “Do you happen to have any change?”
My response is quick: “I haven’t carried change for years!“ But I open my wallet to hand him $5 instead.
Without a trace of acknowledgement, he turns and looks me strangely in the eye, and proceeds to tell me about places I can go to buy fresh produce at a nearby farmer’s market — as if I’ve just bought my right to his insider’s secrets on eating in Sacramento.
After spending a LOT of time with people who are mentally ill, it’s obvious that this man is “wired differently” than your normal person. (And oddly, that makes me feel a strange ease and kinship with him – having always secretly favored the underdogs of this world).
With a rather blank gaze, the man sticks out his dirty hand — and I grasp it firmly, as he says: “I’m John…”
And I reply with a beaming smile, as I enjoy the warmth and firmness of his grasp: “Hi, I’m Stephanie… very nice to meet you, John!”
After this bonding, I have apparently become a part of his sacred inner circle… as he becomes very protective of me, wanting to make sure I too have plenty to eat (which is obviously a huge focus in John’s homeless reality).
Inside I’m chuckling, though — since having put on weight recently, it’s obvious that the LAST problem I have is starving to death!
But I listen intently to his wisdom — as this sweet stranger gives me a crash-course on how to survive on the streets:
“If you ever are hungry, just tell people you are homeless…” (I nod as I take in his sage advice). “…Heck, I had beef brisket for dinner last night!!!” he says with excitement.
My heart blasts open as I listen to the sweetness and innocence of his words, and bask in this stranger’s intimate, heartfelt desire to share his survival secrets — to make sure I never EVER go hungry, myself.
I realize most people would listen to John, roll their eyes, and think snarkily to themselves: “What a CON-ARTIST!!!! He goes around telling people he’s homeless — and gets beef brisket? Disgusting!!!”
But I heard NOTHING of the sort.
What I saw before me was a man sharing love with a stranger. …A man much STRONGER than you and I put together!
Because I will bet my last dollar that if you and I were suddenly in John’s shoes, we would NOT be doing so well. Oh sure, it’s super easy to judge from our shining golden palaces…
But let’s be honest: Most all of us would be riddled with shame. We would feel as if our worth was 0. We would never DARE ask for help. And we would fall into a total downward spiral of hopelessness if we were truly homeless and friendless tomorrow.
But not John.
While any psychiatrist would have lots of labels to throw at this man, I saw a man wired with more SANITY than most. This was a man that was not ashamed of his dirty hands, or the stained hospital robe he wore over his tattered shirt. Or the fact that he ate like a king last night all BECAUSE he was homeless . . .
We can judge all we want. Or tell ourselves ego-soothing tales that we’re HIGHER… and he’s LOWER. But if the tables were turned, would we be so quick to point fingers?
I’m personally smart enough to know that John kicks my ASS in survival skills!!! — as I’d be a puddle on the floor if the shoes were on opposite feet.
So once again life hands me a gift — of getting to turn our collective concepts on their head. To question everything we tend to hold as true. And to get to see behind the sacred curtain of life… as I get to meet the Divine itself, disguised as “John” — to sneak in some wonderful, heartwarming wisdom… as John helped ME crack my heart open just a little bit more than the day before.
So thank you John! Even as a vegan, may you have MANY more “beef brisket dinners” in your future!!! (And may I have the strength and courage to show up with such presence and grace if I ever find myself without a home, too.)
I am forever grateful.
